Is your situationship worth it? Look out for these red flags 🚩

You’ve been talking to someone for a while. You hang out, text late at night, and maybe feel that you’re more than friends.

But…there’s no label.

Some days, it’s fun and exciting. You laugh, feel close, and it seems like you’re really connecting.

Other days, it’s confusing. They don’t respond to your texts, avoid serious conversations, or only show up when it works for them.

You start wondering:

• Are we something? Or nothing?

• Do they really care, or am I just someone to talk to when they’re bored?

If this is how you feel, then you may be in a situationship — it’s more than friendship but less than a clear, committed partnership...a kind of “in-between” relationship.

Recognizing situationship red flags will help you figure out what to do next.

Not every connection is good for you, and sometimes a situationship can do emotional and physical harm. There are warning signs — red flags — that show when someone isn’t treating you with the care and respect you deserve. 

Situationship red flags may include:

1. You feel like an option, not a priority.

• They're nowhere around when you need support.

• Sometimes they cancel plans last minute, saying they’re “too busy.”

• You’re always the one starting conversations or making plans.

2. There is no real communication.

• They avoid talking about feelings or the future.

• They don’t reply to your messages promptly.

• They send mixed signals, and you wonder what they really want.

3. It affects your self-esteem.

• You worry that you’re not “enough” or that they’ll lose interest.

• Instead of feeling confident and happy, you feel insecure and worried.

• Over time, you start questioning your own worth.

4. They don’t respect your time or boundaries.

• They text you at the last minute to hang out and expect you to drop everything and be available for them.

• They constantly cancel plans or show up late.

• Your personal time, space, or respect doesn't seem important to them.

5. You can't be your real self.

• Around them, you feel like you have to hide parts of your personality.

• You avoid saying how you really feel because you’re scared they’ll leave.

• You constantly try to impress them or keep them interested.

Pause and Think

If you notice these situationship red flags, it’s a sign to pause and think about what you truly want and deserve. A healthy relationship should bring you clarity, respect, joy, and peace — not confusion or stress.

Take this self quiz and answer YES or NO to these questions:

1. Do they avoid talking about where the relationship is going?

2. Do they often leave you feeling more confused than happy after you talk or hang out?

3. Do they only reach out when it’s convenient for them?

4. Do they expect your time and attention but don’t give the same effort back?

5. Would your friends or family say this is a good situation for you?

6. Is this relationship affecting your mental health?

If you answered YES to 4 or more, you've identified situationship red flags. It might be time to rethink this situationship.

Now that you've identified some situationship red flags, what can you do?

• Get clarity: Have a direct and open conversation about what you want and how they feel. You deserve clear answers, not confusion.

• Set boundaries: Protect yourself, your time, and your emotions. Don’t give more than they’re giving back.

• Put yourself first: You deserve someone who respects your time and cares about your feelings.

Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do when a situationship feels confusing or one-sided. 

Rima, Sam, and Roya have found themselves in a situationship. They've identified several red flags and are faced with two choices. Which choice would you advise them to make?

Rima has been talking to someone for months, but every time she asks what their relationship is, the person avoids the question or laughs it off.

Rima can:

A. Keep hoping that they'll eventually bring it up.

B. Have a direct conversation and ask for clarity.

Sam is seeing someone, but they cancel plans last minute and only text when it's convenient for them. Sam is feeling drained but still responds every time.

Sam can:

A. Set limits on how much time and energy to give to the relationship.

B. Keep saying yes so that he doesn't lose them.

Roya is talking to someone who makes her feel insecure and unimportant most of the time. She feels more stressed than happy.

Roya can:

A. Keep trying to impress them so they’ll care more.

B. Walk away and choose herself.

No matter how casual a relationship is, it should still make you feel respected and valued. Noticing red flags can feel confusing, but you always have the power to decide what’s best for you.

Learn more about situationship red flags and how to handle them: