You're on your first date with someone you've been talking to for about a week. You really connect, have a lot in common, and it just feels right.
Photo by Thought Catalog on UnsplashAnd, you're so nervous. Nervous enough that you may need a glass of wine to calm the butterflies in your stomach. But you've promised yourself you don't want to drink on dates anymore. You're being pulled between feeling calmness and clarity.
Welcome to the world of dry dating...this may be exactly what your dating experiences have been missing!
What is Dry Dating?
Dry dating refers to going on a date while you're completely sober. That's right — not even one drink!
Many first dates involve alcohol to take the edge off and ease the nerves about meeting someone for the first time. But the dry dating revolution is all about getting to know someone without the buzz.
Photo by Bermix Studio on UnsplashWhere Dry Dating Began
Dry dating is becoming more popular, inspired by movements like "Dry January" or the "sober-curious" trend. COVID also saw people drinking too much alcohol, and then reevaluating their priorities.
Take a look at what this TikTok-er has to say about dry dating:
The Purpose and Benefits of Dry Dating
There are many beneficial reasons people are turning towards dry dating:
It can improve your health and well-being. You can avoid nasty hangovers and improve your sleep, energy, and health.
You can be yourself. Alcohol can make you act like a different person, but your date wants to meet the real you. When you're sober, you're grounded, clear, and showing up as your true self — making it easier to build a genuine connection.
You can make real connections with people and have meaningful conversations. You'll learn a lot more about each this way.
You'll have better judgment. We all know that alcohol can impair our judgment. Steering clear can help avoid issues and dangerous situations that can arise from doing something you wouldn't do if you were sober.
You can get creative and explore unique dating ideas, getting out of the rut of dinner/drinks. Who knows...a memorable date may be the reason a casual date turns into a long-term relationship.
You're one more person staying safe on the roads! Everyone knows not to drink and drive, but some still do. This removes temptation and eases any travel trouble to and from your date.
Saving money is a bonus, and this can be a great way to stay on budget! Alcohol is expensive — especially at a bar or restaurant. Choosing not to drink can help take the pressure off your wallet.
You'll have greater clarity and mental agility. Alcohol can impair your memory, from extreme blackouts to minor details. Your date should be important enough that you want to remember every detail.
Consider This Scenario...
Alix has been on a few first dates where he ended up drinking. At the end of each date, he leaves the bar and doesn’t really feel like he learned much about the other person.
He’s not even sure if he wants a second date or if the other person is even interested. He leaves the date feeling anxious, confused, and discouraged. He wonders if dry dating could help.
Quiz
How can dry dating help Alix to have better first dates? Select all reasons that apply:
How to Dry Date
There are many options for dry dating. Be upfront about your choices so you can meet like-minded people! Plan some alcohol-free activities and suggest alternatives.
How to Propose a Dry Date
Let your date know that dry dating is important to you. You can even add it to your profile page if you're on a dating app.
"I genuinely want to get to know you and I find the best way to do that is to start with some alcohol-free dates. Would you be okay with that?"
"I've been on some dates in the past and they're always fun but starting with some alcohol-free dates gives me a much better idea of who you are and helps you get to know the real me. Would you mind if we went on some dry dates?"
On your profile page, add that you're interested in a genuine connection and make sure photos show the real you and some of your interests or hobbies.
List some ideas you have for first dates that don't involve alcohol (think coffee shop, art exhibit, or any place where alcohol might not be included).
Once you start chatting, make it clear that you want to start with dry dating.
Dry Dating Ideas to Get You Started
Foodie Dates
Have dinner out with some mocktails.
Meet up for a decadent dessert.
Sign up for a cooking class.
Active Dates
Plan an outdoor date: a hike, a picnic, an outdoor film, a beach day.
Take a trip to an amusement park or botanical garden.
Go to sporting events: watching a game or playing tennis, mini-putt, pickleball, bowling, etc.
Cultural Dates
Check out:
A comedy show
A local farmer's market
A cultural activity or festival
What If Your Date Isn't Interested in Dry Dating?
Photo by Stanislav Ivanitskiy on UnsplashHave fun dates planned to show that dry dating is worth exploring.
Meet them with a compromise that only the first few dates can be dry and you'll move to a few drinks after you've gotten to know each other.
Have an open conversation about what they're worried about. Listen and try to match their worries with the positive side to dry dating.
If they're really not interested, decide if this is a rule you want to change. Be confident in your decision, whichever way it goes.
Take Action
Some other Bytes may help as you wander around in the dating world:
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