What is "love bombing"? How does it affect relationships? ❤️ 💣 💥

Ira has been dating Ryan for 2 weeks.

Every day, Ryan sends Ira long good-morning and good-night texts that tell her "she's the most perfect person he's ever met" and that she's his "soulmate".

By the end of the second week, Ryan has sent Ira flowers twice and suggested they take a weekend trip together — even though they’ve only met in person once.

Is Ryan love bombing Ira?

Lovebombing happens in a relationship where one person uses manipulative tactics to overwhelm the other person, usually in the early stages. It can happen in romantic or platonic relationships.

Signs to look out for:

• Excessive affection, attention, or flattery

• Showering with gifts

In a healthy relationship, trust and affection develop steadily. Love bombing is different in intensity andis disproportionate to the length of the relationship.

The video below explains how love bombing starts:

People use love bombing to:

• Gain trust quickly — fast-tracking intimacy so the other person feels “this must be fate.”

• Create emotional dependency — making the partner rely on the love-bomber for validation and self-worth.

• Lower boundaries — encouraging the other person to open up or commit faster than they normally would.

• Establish power — positioning themselves as the central source of happiness and affection.

The person doing the love bombing might not be conscious that they're actually doing it.

Being able to recognize these patterns early can help you set healthy boundaries and protect your emotional well-being.

Photo by Dmitriy Frantsev on Unsplash

The effects can be divided into short-term and long-term.

Short-term Effects

They often feel positive at first:

• Intense feelings of euphoria — the person receiving the love bombing feels adored and “swept off their feet.”

• Rapid attachment — a sense of connection quickly develops, leading to a quick emotional bond.

• Pressure for commitment — there may be impulsive decisions, for example, moving in together quickly.

• Isolation from friends and family — love bombers may discourage their partner from spending time with others, leading to social isolation.

Long-term Effects

Once control is established:

• Emotional confusion — when excessive affection stops or turns into criticism, the love bombing victim may start to doubt themselves.

• Dependency — the victim may fear losing the love-bomber’s approval, leading to anxiety.

• Erosion of boundaries — the victim may accept unhealthy behavior because they miss the early “honeymoon” phase.

• Cycle of reinforcement — the love bomber may alternate between withdrawal and intense affection, keeping the person hooked.

Typically, love bombing can happen in three phases:

1. Idealization:  Your partner "bombards you with excessive love and attention" to lower your guard. "It may seem too good to be true."

2. Devaluation: Red flags start to show up once you feel comfortable. Your partner may become more demanding and get upset easily if you don't spend all your time with them. They may try to cut you off from friends and family and, in extreme cases, become violent.

3. Discarding: If you confront them or set boundaries, they may refuse to accept any accountability or abandon the relationship, leaving you feeling confused and upset.

At the start of Sofia's relationship with Mo, he showers her with constant affection and expensive gifts, and calls her his "soulmate".

Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

At first, Sofia feels special. But over time, Mo makes her feel like she has to abandon her friends. Whenever she tries to set a boundary, he reminds her of "all the special things" he does for her.

Gradually, Sofia finds herself becoming emotionally dependent on Mo. She constantly feels she needs his approval for her self-worth.

Learn more about love bombing so that you can respond to it: