What's the difference between confidence & self-esteem?

You might know that you're great at many things, but still feel bad about yourself. That's because confidence and self-esteem aren't the same.

Confidence vs self-esteem...what's the difference exactly?

Knowing the difference is the first step to knowing what you want to work on.

Improving BOTH your confidence and self-esteem is a great way to support your mental well-being and reach your goals.

Confidence

Proud of your achievements and ready to prove yourself? That's confidence.

Confidence is:

• Based on what you can do

• What you believe about your capability

• How much you trust that you can perform specific skills

High confidence helps you take risks to try new things and believe that you can succeed.

Self-Esteem

Sure that you're valuable no matter what you accomplish? That's self-esteem.

Self-esteem is:

• Based on who you are

• What you believe about your self-worth

• Your internal understanding of how much you matter as a person

High self-esteem helps you value yourself, feel more positive, and cope when you face challenges.

Education

When you're learning and aiming to be a successful student, confidence helps you:

• Keep trying (you know you can do well)

• Feel ready to start new assignments, classes, and programs

• Seek challenges (such as harder math problems or more complex research topics)

Example:

Sarah usually does very well in math class. She barely passed her last math test, but she studied hard for the next test and feels ready to ace it.

Career

From job applications and interviews to success on the job and seeking promotions, having confidence helps you:

• Take on new tasks and bigger responsibilities

• Apply for the positions you want

• Present yourself positively to impress employers

Example:

Aminah feels prepared for her interview because she knows she's highly qualified for the role. She has successfully gotten a job using her interview skills before.

Goals

When you approach goal-setting and tracking with confidence, it helps you:

• Notice your progress

• Stay motivated to work towards your goals (since you believe you can do it)

Example:

Ayaan has been training for the last 5 months. Over time, he notices he can run for longer distances more comfortably. He believes he'll successfully meet his goal of running in a 5K race next month.

The more you meet your goals, the more your confidence will grow!

Self-esteem is always important because it's separate from your accomplishments.

There are times when having good self-esteem is especially helpful.

Criticism or Rejection

When you get challenging feedback or someone turns you down, good self-esteem helps you:

• Take constructive criticism as a chance to improve (you know that having room for growth doesn't mean there's something wrong with you)

• Stop unfair rejection from bothering you

Example:

Rosa wasn't chosen for the lead role in a musical. The judges said she ran out of breath on longer notes. Since she has healthy self-esteem, she accepted that she needs to improve her singing. She knew she'd be okay and that this doesn't reflect her value.

Mistakes or Failure

When you make a mistake or fail, good self-esteem helps you:

• Mess up without feeling shame

• Move on (you know it's temporary)

Example:

Tariq failed his physics test. Since he has good self-esteem, he knows this doesn't reflect his self-worth and that he can keep learning.

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

Relationships

In healthy relationships, good self-esteem helps you:

• Communicate openly (you feel safe to express your true opinions and needs)

• Develop a secure attachment (learn about secure attachment with this Byte)

Example:

Yuki broke up with her boyfriend because he kept telling her to change things about herself, like her hobbies and sense of style. Since she has good self-esteem, she knows that she matters and that she can find a partner who accepts her as she is.

These steps will help you remember the difference between confidence vs self esteem: